Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
This Will Fix Everything
President Trump made a surprising change to his re-election team on Wednesday, replacing his campaign manager, Brad Parscale, with his deputy Bill Stepien.
“And I’m no expert, but generally speaking, things are not going great when you’re firing your campaign manager 100 days before the election. That’s like a jockey jumping off his horse in the homestretch and deciding to run the rest of the way.” — SETH MEYERS
“I am not going to lie — I kind of feel bad for this guy. Not only did he get fired, but he got fired by Jared Kushner. Like, what was that conversation like? [As Kushner:] ‘We have to let you go. because you’re just not succeeding in your job. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to solving the Middle East.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Meanwhile, everyone else in the campaign is thinking, ‘Yeah, he was the problem.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It is almost worse that he is also still part of the campaign team. Think about that: staying on the team when you have been demoted. That’s like your wife leaving you but then saying you are welcome to live with her and her new boyfriend.” — TREVOR NOAH
”If you ask me, this guy is not the problem, he is the scapegoat. Donald Trump’s campaign isn’t struggling because of his campaign manager — it’s struggling because Donald Trump is the candidate.” — TREVOR NOAH
“So my condolences to Brad Parscale, but you should be proud of yourself, because at this point, getting out of the Trump campaign without getting into prison — that’s an achievement.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Stepien has already guaranteed that with his leadership, Trump’s approval rating will skyrocket to 38 percent.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Blue Check Edition)
“But for once, Russia is the second biggest hacking story of the day, because yesterday, major Twitter accounts were hacked in a Bitcoin scam. Now, if you’re not familiar, a Bitcoin scam is anything involving Bitcoin.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
”Yep, Joe Biden was hacked. Afterward, he was like, ‘Don’t be fooled by this scam — invest your money with a Nigerian prince instead. He’s giving away free iPhone 7’s.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Said Kanye, ‘No, mine was actually me.’” — TREVOR NOAH
”So Twitter released a statement saying that luckily the president’s Twitter account was not hacked. But how would they know? I mean, this is the same guy who tweets about beans, Iran and the Confederacy in the span of 10 minutes. He pre-hacks himself.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The only way you’d know if a hacker got Trump is if the spelling was correct.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Turns out Trump’s account didn’t get hacked because it has extra security. That’s right, Trump has to type in a password, do an eye scan, and then insert two Goya beans at the same time.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey took to, well, Twitter to express his discontent, saying, ‘We all feel terrible this happened.’ Fun fact: ‘We all feel terrible this happened’ is Twitter’s official motto.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Patton Oswalt talked with Trevor Noah about his late wife Michelle McNamara’s quest to find the Golden State Killer, as featured in the new HBO docuseries based on her book, “I’ll Be Gone in the Dark.”
Also, Check This Out
Museums and other major art institutions are turning famous works of art into face masks.